Saturday, February 24, 2018

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA 6: #Bitcoin #Mining #HowToMineBitcoin #ScaryClowns

If you've been waiting for my expert say so before getting on-board with this Bitcoin business... do it. Do it now!
I currently own a Bitcoin mine, but I'm too busy blogging to visit it any more, so I am ready for my mine to have a new owner.
Million Dollar Plan Details: 
1) Buy my mine
2) Fill a sack with Bitcoin (it's 97% pure btw)
3) Enjoy your wealthy life.

Fine Print:
I will not accept Bitcoin as payment
I cannot guarantee that all the scary clowns have evacuated the mine
Mine is haunted
Directions to mine and all documentation will be sent by fax machine
Helmet with light not included

Est. Idea Value: $17 trillion*
*Subject to market fluctuation and earthquake



Tuesday, September 6, 2016

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA 5: TOP TEN LIST MARKETING


Million Dollar Idea #5 is all about becoming an internet marketing guru in 10 easy steps.
You see these ads articles all the time online, all you need to do is get people to click with a clever top ten list...
*Bonus: maybe someone will hire you for your awesome Photoshop skills!

TEN MORE WAYS APPLE CIDER VINEGAR WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE:

1) If it marries you and you move in with it
2) If it blames you for its own inadequacies until you're forced into a trial separation
3) If it teaches you how to hunt with a bow and arrow
4) If it writes a song for your daughter's wedding and that song becomes a hit on Country radio
5) If it gives you one of its kidneys
6) If it sets up a meth lab in your basement without your knowledge or consent, and you get arrested
7) If it tricks you into signing over the deed to the family farm then turns the farm into a less successful farm
8) If it teaches you to control your temper and become a generally more positive person
9) If it plays with an ouija board and invites evil into your life
10) two words: CrossFit Buddies

Estimated Idea Value: $212,000
Value-to-date: $0.02*
*not collected yet



Tuesday, July 19, 2016

MDI 4: BUSKING


If you have a talent, take it to the streets! Busk your way to a million dollars!
No talent?
Some outside-the-box busking talents include: eating your lunch in an interesting way, heavy lifting, light lifting with panache, and bees!

Busking (file photo)

Some more tips on busking your way to $1,000,000...
-Do it where the people with money are (shopping district, bank lobby, illegal narcotics depot)
-If it looks like people are flush with cash, pass the BIG HAT*
-If you are robbed more than once per week, change locations.

Just pass it around the crowd

*Estimated idea value: $150,000



Wednesday, May 18, 2016

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA 3: BURNT FOOD AIR FRESHENER!


A Spray Air Freshener that smells of burnt food©
(artist rendering)

Applications may include :
1) Husband doesn't want to cook, pretends to burn supper, orders a pizza
2) In-laws come over, are less likely to invite themselves for dinner
3) Kids want that leftover lasagne, but there isn't enough for them AND you, so pretend you've burned it during reheating process. 

*Estimated idea value: $217,000

Saturday, May 7, 2016

MDI (Million Dollar Idea 2) RETHINK©... MONKEY THEME...

...a Monkees tribute act made entirely of monkeys will bump the Idea Valuation© significantly!
Sure, one monkey with a Banana Harmonica has some merit... but to get to that million dollar valuation it needs to be a whole band.

Note:
-Monkey band should open with "Last train to Clarksville" and arrive to stage on novelty-sized choo choo...

*Estimated idea value: $1,000,047 (includes merchandising)

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA 1: WHAT ABOUT...

...a harmonica-playing monkey that can play blues AND folk tunes...

Note:
-monkey should play a novelty plastic banana-harmonica
-monkey must play at least one MONKEES! song
*Estimated idea value: $500,832